By Randy Haglund
Rodney Dangerfield was one of my favorite comedians growing up. I remember one he told on the Jackie Gleason show.
“I tell, ya, I don’t get no respect.” That was his signature line. Straightening his tie, he continued. “Even as a kid I got no respect. When we went on family vacations, my dad had me take all the pictures. That way, I wouldn’t be in ‘em.”
Gleason busted up, and so did I. Rodney straightened his tie and ripped off another laugher about getting no respect.
These days, it seems like disrespect has become the new norm. Like Aretha Franklin, all I want is a little respect.
Just a little bit.
Recently I drove down the freeway at 75 m.p.h. (The speed limit was 70, but I’ve adopted a personal policy where I set my cruise control at 5 m.p.h. over the limit.) Driving in the left lane, I passed a driver on the right who was driving slightly slower than me. A guy in a one-ton Chevy came roaring up on my tail and stayed so close he could have performed a high-speed colonoscopy on me.
It made me uncomfortable, but I maintained my speed. After another mile or so, I was far enough ahead of the slower car to slide into the right lane. The guy in the truck sped around me, but on his way, his passenger rolled down the window and flicked a cigarette butt at me.
Sock-it-to-me.
It had been garbage day, so when I got home I took the recycle bin and the trash can in back. I noticed the trash can was still heavy so I looked inside. Someone had put their trash in my receptacle, making it half full already, with a whole week to go to the next collection day.
Just a little bit.
Later, I drove to the grocery store. When I saw an empty parking spot not too far from the door, I went for it. Only it wasn’t empty after all. Someone had left a shopping cart right in the middle of the spot.
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
One thing these people have in common is they are concerned primarily about their own convenience, and have little regard for others. Ironically, these same individuals are universally unhappy. Think about it. The guy who holds the door open for you at the hardware store has a friendly smile. But the lady who cut’s in front of you at the supermarket checkout is frowning and complaining.
Doesn’t it stand to reason that people who seek first their own needs would be the happiest people? But it doesn’t seem to work that way.
I’m reminded of a song I learned as a young boy in Sunday School.
Jesus and others and you, what a wonderful way to spell joy.
J is for Jesus for He is first place.
O is for others you meet face to face.
Y is for you and whatever you do,
Put yourself last and spell JOY.
This silly little children’s song packs a lot of truth. But it’s not the world’s wisdom.
I learned from my parents how to treat people with respect and courtesy. Verbally, yes. But mostly I learned from their actions. They treated others as they would like to be treated. Better, actually. And my parents were joyful people, always happy to do someone a favor. I respected them, and I have always tried to emulate them.
When Jesus was in the upper room with his terrified disciples, he promised them they would have tribulation, but they would also experience joy, and no one could take it from them.[1]
A two-part promise: 1. Tribulation. 2. Joy
Most of them experienced exile, prison and martyrdom. The first part of Jesus’ prophecy came true.
But what about the second promise? According to what we read in the New Testament and beyond, they faced all that disrespect with joy.
The promise to the disciples in the upper room is intended for us as well. I must admit, sometimes I let people rob me of joy. But that’s on me. When I follow the JOY principle, I realize when someone treats me like dirt, they’re the ones that lose.
So even when someone sends trash, cigarette butts, and shopping carts my way, I try not to let it ruin my day.
Still, it would be nice to get some respect.
Just a little bit.
***
Do you ever let people rob you of joy? What do you do about it?
[1] John 16:33 and 22
It’s so sad how well your story reflects the typical norms of sociecty today. I often find myself questioning the actions and desicions of others and where thier morale compass lies (or if they even have one!). Kindness and respect are frequently misunderstood and approached with concern or gaurded walls. I think that’s the worse part because “nice people” suddenly become untrustworthy and things like respect and courtesy begin to turn to myth.
I am glad that you can realize its on them and that thier crappy day isn’t worth yours (because so many people can’t even do that anymore!). You have my respect sir. Thank you for another great story.
Thanks, Brandon. I try not to dwell too much on the lack of respect in the world today. It feel happier when I realize that being kind to others never is a waste of time, even if sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. I know that my reward is coming.
It is amazing how much power (over our emotions) that we give away. My better self wants to commit “random acts of kindness” like allowing people to cut in front of me from a parking lot driveway while I am waiting for a traffic light to turn green. My worse self is competitive while driving. People driving faster are maniacs; slower people are idiots.
I totally agree, George. But now that I’m older I’m a less aggressive driver and I think I’m happier.
Hi Randy, Even though “retired” from ministry, I will be speaking at my home church this Sunday talking about kindness. With your permission, I can see how I can quote your story.
And thanks as always for being such a good story teller.
Of course you can quote me! Make sure to plug my website, though. Just kidding! Thank you for being a loyal reader!
Your parents were indeed very kind people. One time your dad backed into our car in the Hilliard Baptist Church parking lot. We didn’t see it happen but they being the good people they were inquired as to whose car it was and found us and came to tell us and apologize. The small dent just kind of blended in with the plethora of other dents on that poor old car. We told them not to worry about it. They insisted on taking our family of 6 to lunch after church the following week. That meant far more to us than the dent repair would have. They also raised a very kind son ♥️
Thank you, Karen. When anyone has ever told me that I remind them of my dad (or mom), I consider it high praise!
Thanks Randy, it reminds me where my joy comes from
We all need reminding Tom!
I respect you Randy….sometimes.
Just a little bit…